Which wedding details are most important? Every single one, right? Every last moment & detail is essential to making the day picture perfect IRL, in your forever memories and your guests' recollections—from the venue to every sparkly little bead on your dress and, of course, the perfect wording for your wedding thank you cards.
Many couples need help with wedding thank-you etiquette. Keeping about a million unspoken (or spoken) rules can feel overwhelming. Of course, your plate is already full, but you want to be mindful to express gratitude to your shower & wedding guests and those who have sent gifts. Sometimes, newlyweds even send thank-you notes to their favorite vendors.
So, what are the rules anyway? Who are you supposed to send a thank you note to? Should you send a note to someone who attends your wedding even if they don’t bring a gift?
Oh! And how much time do you have to send the thanks-yous? What should you remember to say? You've heard other people agonize over the perfect wedding thank you card wording, and you don't know if it's that difficult, but you feel like it is because they said so.
Trust us! We've all been there, but writing thank-you notes doesn't have to be stressful for you just because your BFF or coworker hated it.
In this article, we'll share our best tips for getting beautiful wedding gift thank-you notes delivered promptly–consider it your very own wedding thank you guide! You won't have to worry about how long you can wait or what to say because we'll help you figure out the specifics.
And, as always, we know where you can find the cutest pop-up thank you cards—perfect for thanking your shower & wedding guests, loved ones who sent gifts, and even the musicians, florists, caterers, and anyone else who helped create your special day.
Wedding Thank You Etiquette
Etiquette is all about holding fast to wedding traditions. Many people are choosing untraditional ceremonies and making new traditions for themselves. Others value the traditional ways of sending invites, thanking guests, and planning the wedding festivities. Both methods can be fantastic, but we want to ensure you feel well-equipped if you choose the traditional route.
So, what are the actual wedding thank you card etiquette rules? Here are some essential guidelines to follow when sending thank-yous to everyone who made your wedding special in one way or another.
- Personalize your wedding messages as much as possible, and make them specific. There are many options: you can share a memory from the shower or wedding, thank them for the item they gave by name, or tell them how you plan to spend a cash gift.
- Send thank-you notes within one to three months after the wedding. But, of course, the sooner, the better!
- Send shower thank-you notes within two weeks after the bridal or wedding shower. Again, the sooner, the better, so you can save space in your brain for all of the bigger & better things ahead!
- Remember to thank your wedding planner, florist, caterer, musicians, and favorite vendors. They'll all love to receive a beautiful card telling them what meant the most to you on your special day!
- Send thank-you notes to anyone who sends a gift, even if they don't attend the wedding. Don't hesitate to send gratitude for even the smallest gifts or gestures. And remember, it's traditional to send separate notes for each event attended or gifts given at different times.
- Handwritten thank-you cards are more personal than digital messages. Some people are moving toward digital thank-you cards in the name of sustainability (and, let’s be honest, convenience), but handwritten ones are still traditional. Receiving a handwritten note in your mailbox is super meaningful–and fun!
- Make sure to both sign the cards. They're from both of you, after all! Oh, and write the notes together, too—you can share that responsibility. Teamwork makes the dream work, and no one should have to write 100+ notes alone! Pour a glass of champagne & turn it into a little date night, reminiscing and giving thanks to your friends & fam.
Who Should You Thank?
You may wonder, "Should I thank so and so?" If you're wondering, that's a yes. You could have already written and addressed a notecard in the five minutes you spent deliberating. Work smarter, not harder, right?
In all fairness, there are so many people to thank and so little time! As you receive a gift, a service, or even an encouraging word that helps you get through wedding planning, list people you want to thank.
We recommend sending a thank you note to the following:
- Anyone who sends a gift before the wedding
- Anyone who attends your shower or brings a gift to the shower
- All wedding attendees, whether they give a gift or not
- And, of course, all the other parties who make your wedding day amazing!
When Should You Send Wedding Thank You Notes?
Deciding who to send your cards to, what to say, and how to say it can become overwhelming. If you're worried about when to send out your wedding thank-yous, we have a few helpful tips:
- Send a card for gifts received before the wedding within two to three weeks. It's okay to wait up to three weeks, but send them sooner if you can!
- You can wait up to three months to send thank-you cards for gifts received after the wedding. Again, etiquette allows up to three months, but if you send a few notes at a time as you receive cards or presents, you should be able to get them out within 6-8 weeks!
- Have a system. If you keep a list of gifts as you receive them, write down when you'd like to send each thank you by at the latest—then make it happen! Writing a few cards per day or every couple of days will help you get them all knocked out ASAP.
How to Write a Wedding Thank You Card
Believe it or not, many people don't send wedding thank you cards on time—or even ever!—because they don't know what to write. A thank-you note can be short and casual. It doesn't have to be long & flowery. The best thank-yous are simple, meaningful, and fun.
Just because the wedding is a formal event doesn't mean you’ve gotta be a pro writer to say a meaningful thank you! Writing a quick message in a few sentences can still be super effective & mean a lot.
A well-written thank you card does three things:
- It makes a connection. Remind the recipient how much they mean to you, whether or not they could attend.
- Expresses gratitude for their presence. If you had a chance to chat with them, tell them how great that was or anything you remember from your conversation. Tell them how much it meant to see their smile on your big day.
- And, of course, thank them for the gifts. Here's the part that you typically go into the whole thing expecting to write. Thank them for their thoughtful gift, and explain how you're looking forward to using it; if they sent money, you could give them an idea of how you plan to spend it. All of these details are meaningful & perfect for adding to thoughtful wedding thank you card messages.
Wedding Thank You Card Messages
Now, let's get to the good part—the actual messages! We get it; words can be hard sometimes. If you still feel uninspired or unsure of what to write, we have a few ideas to help you get started.
Whether you send a beautiful floral notecard or a stunning thank-you flower bouquet, your presentation of gratitude will make your friends & family feel oh-so-loved, especially with one of these loving wedding thank you card messages for guests or loved ones who sent gifts.
- Thank you so much for attending our wedding. It was lovely seeing you, and we are beyond grateful for your generous gift. We're looking forward to using it to purchase new furniture for our home.
- We were so excited that you found a way to make it to the wedding, even though the timing was tricky! Thanks for traveling to be with us & for the beautiful silverware set. We look forward to using it. Lots of love to you!
- We missed you at our wedding. We're so sorry you couldn't make it. We appreciate the gift you sent and are excited to use it for a down payment on our new home. You're the best!
- Thank you for making our wedding everything we imagined by being there. We loved sharing those unforgettable memories with you and adore the incredible artwork. We will enjoy it for many years & smile when we remember who it was from. We love your family dearly!
- Seeing you at our wedding was the cherry on top of a perfect day! Thank you for joining us & for your thoughtful gift. We love the personalized towels you brought for us and have already enjoyed using them–they’re so soft! Thank you!!
- Your presence at our wedding meant the world to us both. It was wonderful to share such a lovely day with you both. Thank you for the sentimental dishes from Grandma's house & the money you gave us. We plan to add it to our honeymoon fund! We love you!
- We are sorry for your loss & that you could not attend the wedding. We understand, and you're in our thoughts. Thank you for taking the time to send a special note & gift card to our favorite restaurant. We are planning to go on a date for our one-month anniversary! Lots of love!
- OMG, partying with you at our wedding was the best! Thanks for being there, bringing the best gift (but don't tell anyone else we said that), and being the best friend ever. We love you like crazy!
- Getting your wedding card & gift in the mail was one of our favorite days leading up to the wedding. Thank you for sending the beautiful duvet cover from our registry & the kindest, most encouraging note. We're so lucky to have friends like you as we start this new chapter together.
- Thanks for attending our wedding—and catching the bouquet! We can't wait to come to yours next. ;) And thank you for making a beautiful card & gift for us. They are on display in our living room, and we love seeing them daily!
- Celebrating our new beginning with you was a blast! Thank you for flying in for our wedding & for your thoughtful gift. We love the personalized glasses! We've already used them for several special meals together. Thank you so much!!
- Can you believe it? We're all married now! Thanks for joining us for our special day & your super sweet card and fancy blender. We can't wait to make some delicious smoothies. You mean the world to us!
Your wedding day will fill your heart with gratitude, inspiring you to find (and share) the perfect wedding thank you card–and wording. So whether you're sending a card to your best friend, grandmother, coworker, or bridesmaid, a unique pop-up thank you card is perfect for expressing your gratitude.
We wish you the happiest wedding planning, celebrating, and thank-you-note-sending. Whichever stage you're at, we hope you're enjoying it & every detail is coming together perfectly.